Hurt
by Deity-of-Words
Summary: It was not supposed to have happened the way it did. The Autobots were the ones who were destined to win the war, not the Decepticons.


_**A/N:** Let it be known that I am so proud of this one-shot~! Now it might sound weird but I wrote this because I've always liked the idea of Megatron being someone more human, for lack of better word. Someone who is emotionally scared and doesn't have to be an evil tyrant all the time because there is so much more to him then people seem to realize. I personally feel like I've accomplished that and hopefully anyone who reads this will A) Enjoy it and B) See a different side to Megatron that they like._

_Also, keep in mind that this is my interpretation of what might have happened if Megatron had have killed Optimus during Dark of the Moon._

_**Disclaimer:** _ 'Transformers' and all related media, merchandise and trademarks do not belong to me. All canon characters belong to their respective companies and I am not affiliated with them in any way, shape or form. 'Hurt' is the property of the musician(s) who composed the song and I am not affiliated with them nor do I make money form the use of the song.__

**__Edit! This one-shot was revised and edited on the 06/01/2014. My thanks go to Kiddle Beast for beta-ing this.__**

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><p><em>If I could start again a million miles away,<br>I would keep myself, I would find a way.  
><em>_**Hurt - Johnny Cash**_

The war was over.

After countless millennia of fighting and after so many Cybertronians had been slain in the name of peace, the Great War was finally over. And yet nothing had gone according to plan. It was not supposed to have happened the way it did. The Autobots were the ones who were destined to win the war, not the Decepticons. Yet they had lost and Megatron had accomplished what so many had believed to be impossible: he had led the Decepticons to victory over the Autobots.

Under his rule the Autobot faction had been conquered and Optimus Prime's existence had been brought to a painful end. But as the Decepticon leader reminisced about his accomplishments, he couldn't help but realize that something seemed to be missing. The typical self-satisfaction that usually accompanied a situation like his was eluding him. Instead there was only regret.

While it was confusing that he would feel regret, Megatron understood why he felt nothing else.

He didn't feel anymore – he hadn't for some years now.

For many vorns his existence had been a barren wasteland that was void of emotion; emotions had become nothing more than a fleeting memory to him – except, it seemed, for regret. Every other emotion was like water running through his claws, but regret had become a familiarity that he could have lived without.

Megatron scoffed aloud at the irony of his current situation. There had once been a time, many vorns ago, when he had believed that emotions were pointless and any who embraced theirs was labelled as a fool who had let their processors become clouded by irrational thoughts. But now Megatron understood that he had been wrong, and he was willing to give anything if it meant he would be able to feel something other than the unrelenting presence of regret.

However Megatron knew that it was no longer possible. He had buried his emotions under a façade of indifference and because of that he had been consumed and corrupted by his need to always want more.

There had once been a time when the Decepticon had found solace in watching the sunrise: it had always instilled him with a feeling of peace. Megatron had often described it as the calm before the storm. Just watching the sun slowly rise into the iridescent sky had somehow erased the harshness of the night before.

And when the sun had set in the evenings he had lain with femmes and been overwhelmed with a sense of love – even if it was only for a short while. He had been succumbed to anger and sorrow when he lost a comrade in battle.

But now when a Decepticon died in battle it only proved that they were not good enough to be counted among his ranks. Now it no longer mattered how many lovers he took, there was always a hole in his spark that he couldn't seem to fill.

And the sunrise did nothing for him anymore. Megatron could always remember everything and no matter how hard he tried to forget, the memories of the previous night still assaulted his every waking moment. However what haunted him the most was not the memories of those he had interfaced with, the greed that had consumed him or the regret that he felt. It was the memories of the time he had first betrayed Optimus: the hurt in his blue optics and the disappointment in his voice – it had nearly brought Megatron to tears, tears such as a Cybertronian might cry.

But above everything, the worst memory was the silence that had resounded in the air as he watched Optimus take his last labouring ventilation.

And that silence had cut him deeper than words ever would.

A deadly growl built within the Decepticon's vocal cords as he leant forward and rested his helm in his clawed hands. He began to vent deeply as he struggled to fight the onslaught of nostalgia.

**X – X – X – X**

_He had been sitting in a back alley when the fighting had commenced, starting up at the sky as Cybertron slowly came into view above him: his home planet was finally saved. Yet as he voiced the obvious out loud he wasn't given a chance to relish in the feeling of victory._

_Standing between his feet stood the Witwicky boy's mate. What was her name?_

_Carly. That was it. Carly Spencer._

_A smirk flickered over the Decepticon's faceplates as he observed her with narrowed optics. "Oh, have you come to surrender?" he queried with a soft growl._

_Her tongue slipped out to moisten her lips. "Was it all worth it?"_

_Megatron scoffed at the foolish question. "Obviously," he answered, narrowing his optics further as she climbed the debris beside him; in all honesty, he didn't know what to do about her. Megatron detested humans – they were lower than maggots and not worthy to kiss the ground he walked on but this one clearly had something to say._

_She reached the top of the rubble and turned to face him, her blue eyes narrowed into a glare._

_"All your work to bring Sentinel back and now clearly he has all the power. It's actually almost tragic."_

_An angry snarl escaped Megatron and without warning he threw his arm out; startling the girl and causing her to fall backwards. She had no right to speak to him like that. This pathetic human wasn't his equal!_

_"You dare lecture me, slave?"_

_Even as she sat on her ass, she didn't cower under his furious gaze. Instead she continued to glare up at him in defiance. She swallowed hard and spoke again: "Your Decepticons are finally conquering this planet, and yet, their leader won't be you!"_

_"It will be me! It will always be me!"_

_Megatron had had enough of this woman and her impudent attitude. She was going to die for her foolish mistake. The Decepticon leader raised his clawed hand and held them in front of her face._

_Instantly the glare disappeared from her face only to be replaced with a look akin to fear. It made another smirk tug at the mech's faceplates but despite it, the woman turned her wide blue eyes to stare into his crimson optics as though his claws weren't hovering inches from her delicate face._

_"Any minute now, you will be nothing more than Sentinel's bitch."_

_Megatron raised his right hand higher and prepared to end her pitiful existence. His growl of anger reverberated in the air but as his fist was about to crush her – he stopped. She was right. The pathetic human had been able to see what he hadn't; he wasn't the Decepticon leader any longer. But he would be. The Decepticons were his troops and he was going to be the only one to lead them to victory._

_Without another word Megatron stood, causing the earth beneath him to shake. He spared Carly one last glance before he disappeared into the chaos taking place in the streets._

_The mech walked with a new found determination. He walked as though there wasn't a battle going on around him; the bullets flying through the air didn't hit him, no one attempted to engage him in battle and the bodies littering the streets didn't matter. The only things his processors were focusing on Sentinel and figuring out a way to kill the Prime in the worst way imaginable._

_His optics glimpsed the two Primes fighting on the bridge up ahead and a growl of irritation rumbled in his vocal cords – he was the only one permitted to end Optimus's life._

_Megaton stopped when he was a few feet from the bridge and he looked around himself only to pause when his optics noticed a Cybertronian Pulse Cannon lying nearby, essentially the human equivalent to a twelve-gauge shotgun. As Megatron looked back up he let out another low growl as he witnessed Sentinel stab one end of his double-bladed sword into Optimus's shoulder._

_The older Prime twisted the weapon and Optimus's arm was detached._

_Sentinel knocked his successor down and stabbed him again in the opposite shoulder._

_Without a second thought Megatron grabbed the Pulse Cannon and started running towards them, his newly acquired weapon already raised._

_"We were gods once. All of us." Sentinel snapped._

_Optimus was begging – actually begging – for his predecessor to stop but Sentinel simply raised his weapon with the intention of finishing Optimus._

_A shot rang out in the air, followed by another two when Megatron reached the bridge._

_Sentinel grunted in pain and turned away from Optimus, only to have the barrel of Megatron's Pulse Cannon slam into his faceplates. The Decepticon grabbed the older Prime's helm and threw him towards the opposite side of the bridge and away from Optimus._

_"This is my planet!" Megatron snarled as he kicked Sentinel in the helm hard with enough force to knock the Prime's helmet off._

_At the end of the bridge it seemed like everyone had stopped to watch the three of them fight. The Decepticon leader had just saved the Autobot leader's life and that wasn't normal but then again – Sentinel was supposed to be an ally to the Autobots, not the Decepticons._

_Everyone was standing at the foot of the bridge. The humans, the Decepticons, the Autobots; everyone. Megatron even noted that Witwicky boy and his mate were there._

_A fully fledged smirk flickered over the Decepticons faceplates as he kicked Sentinel a second time; the Prime was thrown onto his back and pinned to the ground when Megatron planted his foot squarely on his chest._

_Megaton raised his Pulse Cannon and levelled it at Sentinel's face._

_"This is my planet," he repeated, softer this time._

_The Decepticon fired a single shot; thus ending the Prime's existence._

_Megatron waited until the mech beneath his foot ceased all movements before he turned to face his brother, who had a look akin to shock on his faceplates. Perhaps Optimus hadn't expected Megatron to save his life but he should have – Megatron was the only one permitted to end the Autobot leader's life._

_"Now, we need a truce. All I want is to be back in charge." It was a blatant lie. "Besides, who would you be without me, Prime?"_

_The Autobot glared at Megatron as he got to his feet. "Time to find out."_

_Without warning Optimus charged; he bent and retrieved his Energon Axe and slammed it into Megatron's left shoulder, causing the Decepticon to drop his Pulse Cannon. Optimus was faster than Megatron, even injured and missing an arm but Megatron had no intention of losing._

_Optimus pivoted on the human-equivalent ball of his foot and hit Megatron with his axe, which caused Megatron to thud to his knees._

_As Optimus attempted to hit him a third time – in the helm – Megatron fell to his side and rolled onto his back. The axe skimmed the ground beside his helm and without waiting a moment long, Megatron grabbed the handle of the weapon and rolled to the side, pinning it beneath his frame and forcing Optimus to let it go._

_Megatron had the weapon in his hand when he rolled onto his back a second time, he struck out and drove the axe into Optimus's injured shoulder._

_The Prime cried out in pain and stumbled away from Decepticon._

_Megatron scrambled to his feet quickly and turned to glare at his enemy. He tightened his grip on the axe and prepared to strike his brother down, yet as he raised the weapon over his head someone intervened. The Witwicky boy screamed the Autobot leader's name as he dashed forward; ignoring the hands attempting to hold him back._

_The Decepticon laughed at the foolish human; the boy had just run to his death._

_As Sam approached them, Megatron's hand snaked out faster than lightning and lifted him from the ground._

_"You cannot save them all," Megatron taunted as he gently squeezed the human in his hand and earned a groan of discomfort from the meat-bag. "I'll give you a choice," he offered, "Surrender and the boy lives. Don't and he dies."_

_The hesitation was clear in Optimus's optics as he watched Sam struggle pointlessly between the Decepticon's claws but he couldn't surrender. If he surrendered then that would result in the death and enslavement of so many innocents – Cybertronian and Human alike - but Sam was an innocent too and Optimus couldn't just let him die._

_For once the Autobot leader didn't know what to do._

_"Very well," Megatron announced after a few moments, "I'll make it for you."_

_Megatron suddenly began tightening his grip on the boy until an audible crack resounded in the air. The Decepticon continued to squeeze until several of the boy's bones snapped, he squeezed until his organs wouldn't work and his heart refused to beat and then – with a terrible laugh – Megatron dangled the limp body of Sam Witwicky for all the world to see._

_"'Oops," he said insincerely before throwing the lifeless body of Sam to where the Spencer girl stood in shock._

_For several long minutes everyone stood in silence, shocked by the display of cruelty they had just witnessed. A growl escaped Optimus as he turned to glare at the Decepticon; he had lost his cool and wasn't thinking clearly._

_Optimus lunged forward without warning, momentarily forgetting about the Energon Axe Megatron still clutched in his hand. As Optimus attempted to tackle the Decepticon, Megatron fell backwards and raised the axe – aiming it at Optimus's spark._

_They two of them tumbled to the ground and everything was obscured by their frames; one of them cried out in anguish but its origins were unknown. After a moment Megatron threw Optimus off of him and slowly got to his feet._

_The Decepticon turned his hardened gaze to Optimus, who lay unmoving on his back: protruding from his chassis was the handle of the axe._

_A sob interrupted the silence then, and Megatron slowly turned to glare down at the Spencer girl; who was staring at the corpse of her lover in horror. A malicious smirk flickered across the mech's faceplates. "On your knees, slave."_

_And with that the woman fell to her knees beside the lifeless body of Sam and cried._

_His gaze returned to Optimus when he began spluttering. He was coughing up Energon and was having trouble venting – he was slowly drowning in his own fluids._

_Nothing more was said – nothing else needed to be said._

_Instead everyone stood frozen in shock and just watched as the life slowly dissipate from the dying mech, when at last the Autobot ceased venting there was nothing left but silence._

**X – X – X – X**

_I am sorry my brother..._ The whispered words reverberated in his processors and they would forever be etched onto his memory. He had said those exact words when he had first announced his betrayal to the world: everyone had thought he had been lying – Decepticon and Autobot alike.

On the surface Megatron had wanted everything he said to be a lie but it wasn't, and deep down he had been truly sorry. In the beginning he had hoped that they would be able to settle their grievances another way, but of course, they hadn't been able to and it didn't matter. The instant Megatron betrayed his comrades he had ceased to be – he had become nothing more than a shell of his former self.

A roar of frustration escaped the angry Decepticon: why was this happening now of all times? He was the Decepticon leader – the supreme ruler of both Earth _and_ Cybertron – he had no reason to feel remorse or that damned regret for what he had done.

Everything had been to save their home planet, to restore the once beautiful Cybertron.

Megatron stood suddenly and began pacing the room with restless energy. In all honesty he didn't like his current situation in the slightest. Cybertron was almost saved, so why was he beginning to second guess himself? The Decepticon leader ceased his pacing when his crimson optics caught sight of the aforementioned planet out of the window across from him.

Slowly, almost hesitantly, Megatron approached the window and rested his clawed hands on the sill as his optics took in the sight before him.

Cybertron awaited him in the distance.

The once beautiful utopia was looking dilapidated and worn-down. Even though the human slaves worked diligently under the gaze of their Decepticon masters, debris still littered the streets and buildings continued to crumble around them.

It would still take vorns and countless lives before the planet would be restored to its former glory.

The salvation and restoration of his home planet, that was what he had been striving to achieve for all these vorns – hadn't he?

Primus, he honestly didn't know anymore. He had told so many lies over the years, so many that he was no longer able to keep count but each one was like a knife cutting into his spark, leaving it speckled with so many scars that he no longer recognized it. His own damn spark was a stranger to him now.

With a loud thud Megatron fell back into his throne and for some time he simply stared down at his hands, his Energon soaked hands. He knew that it wasn't real, his armour was always pristine now and yet there it was. It was always there – haunting him.

_It is symbolic really… _Megatron thought with a bitter smile. All the lives he had taken, the ones he had ruined – that was what the Energon represented. Autobots, Decepticons, Humans. He had deceived them all and had stolen their lives and whether they had lived through it or not, they would never be the same. Megatron had fed them nothing but lies and they had eaten them up like animals scavenging for food.

And it had all been for greed.

Megatron raised his hands to his cover his faceplates and the expression of anguish etched onto them. He knew now that all he had done hadn't been for Cybertron or its inhabitants. Everything he had done – what he was still doing – had all been for greed and in time that greed had consumed him. It had twisted and changed him until he was nothing more than a travesty of who he had once been.

He had fought to claim Cybertron for himself and so many had fallen so that he could achieve his desires. Optimus, Ironhide, Jazz and that boy. There were countless others too but he had forgotten their designations and faces long ago. And now that he had it, Megatron was no longer sure it was worth the price he had paid.

What had he gained?

He had Earth and Cybertron. He had ultimate and supreme power, and yet it still wasn't enough.

What did a few measly planets and a handful of space dust matter when there was still so much left unclaimed?

His optics became moist with lubricant and a broken sob escaped the once proud Decepticon; it was a strange sensation. After so many vorns of nothing, he was crying. However Megatron was not crying because of everything he had done, no, he was crying because that was all he had – planets and space dust.

He knew now that he was nothing more than a petulant sparkling that was disappointed with his toys.

After so many vorns of fighting and selling his spark, all he had was planets and slaves. The Decepticon had wanted everything and yet it wasn't enough – he was still eager for more.

Megatron had built his empire on lies and deceit but he knew now that he wasn't its leader. Greed was the true ruler and it always had been; he had simply been its pawn. Words couldn't express the regret that was suddenly plaguing his spark – just like the Autobot forces he was shattered and not even the best intention could repair him.

A part of him wanted to leave and to give up everything he had fought to claim but Megatron knew he couldn't. He was now bonded to the fate he had chased for so long. He had been attracted to the thrill and excitement that had come from the chase but when he had finally caught it, it hadn't been what he had expected.

The Decepticon had chased and wanted it so fiercely that when he had finally caught it, he had been taken aback and he had a moment of hesitation. It was in that moment of hesitation and self-doubt that greed had taken a hold of him. Greed had changed everything, it had changed him and left him wanting more but secretly wishing for days gone by.

It had been vorns since that day. Vorns since his existence had been changed so drastically and Megatron still couldn't decide whether it had been for the better or the worse.

Megatron couldn't even remember the last time he had truly smiled or felt content with his existence – had he ever?

He had been the High Lord Protector.

But he wasn't anymore though, he was just a shell.

He had rejected all emotion and killed them only to be left with greed. Megatron knew that he was alone now; he knew he didn't have anyone. He had killed his brother and any who claimed to be his comrade were simply using him to climb the ladder of hierarchy. Perhaps there had been a time when he'd had the proud ambitions of a younger mech but the Decepticon now knew that it had just been greed in disguise; attempting to strengthen its hold on him.

He had nothing but greed now.

Well. Greed and regret.

His optics are useless now – all they see are blood and lies; the withered face of greed and the solemn expression of regret at every twist and turn.

His hands are empty now – they are never able to grasp at anything for long before the mech grows tired and cast things aside.

Everything is his, and yet nothing is.

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><p><em><strong>AN: **Once again I hope you all enjoyed and thank you for reading._


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